My Mother’s Shoes

My lesson on patience in the pursuit of purpose

imagesGod created me; my mind, particularities, and my capabilities. However it was my Mother’s influence and inspiration that formed me into the person I am today. Growing up I was taught I had gifts and that there was a purpose for my life. Yet despite that great message, I have still struggled for many years with knowing what I am meant to do with my life.

Recently I started a job that quite surprised me, not only because it is work that I didn’t think I could ever be good at, but also because I really enjoy it. It has caused an epiphany that I feel changing the course of my life into one of clarity and certainty. I am working with disabled seniors; sometimes doing simple things that help bring joy to their lives, and sometimes doing complex things that help them navigate some personal struggle. It was my Mother who showed me a perspective that honors and respects the elderly; she exposed me to environments that taught me the needs, fears, and feelings they posses but for which they all too often lack acknowledgment of and/or care for. My mother has worked with the aging and disabled since I can remember, and she is passionate about it. She can brilliantly connect with them in ways that astonish me. To watch her effortlessly navigated and cultivate these relationships is truly heart-warming.

Growing up I would so often have a desire to connect and help them in a similar way, but all too often I felt awkward and unsure. For the longest time I felt so unworthy as a daughter, I wanted so badly to be able to do what my mom did, but I just didn’t seem to have her gift. Sometimes I felt this admiration so strongly that I would brainstorm ways in which I could get through nursing school, despite my many inhibitions (I do not have the stomach for it.) I knew I had the compassion she had, that is so necessary it working with elderly and disabled people, I felt the pain of it constantly. Unfortunately even though I possessed this, along with a desire to make a difference in the same way as my mother, I still always felt that something vital was missing that kept it out of reach. I resolved myself to believe that I was simply inadequate to ever fill my mothers shoes.

What I have since learned and now know, is that the only thing I really lacked was confidence. In my young and not yet mature mind, I confused the correlation of my inexperience and individuality with adequacy. I thought if I lacked the gifts that my mother so profusely possessed, I could never be like her or make an impact the way she has. However, you do not need to be an exact replica of someone, in order to follow in their footsteps. The lessons my mother showed me, and the inner pull I felt to help and connect with people in the way she did was significant; I was just in too much of a hurry to see that my time and opportunity had not yet matured.  I did not see that I could honor the things my mother taught me to see, understand, and appreciate, and apply that influence in ways that fit my own personal strengths and skill set.align-cute-nurse-shoes-wh0517dis_health04By this epiphany I have learned a lot. Although it is important to examine who we are closely and believe that we all have a specific purpose, even when nothing seems clear; we also have to trust the instincts we inherit from people who impact us, because there is a reason you feel a connection to the mark they leave. Most of all, give yourself time to grow up, mature, and get a little life experience under your belt before expecting your purpose to fall in to place. Some people are born knowing what they want to do, some people’s vision is clear, but some of us need to be patient. We don’t have to fit a mold exactly to follow in someones footsteps. Instead of wishing to be someone you look up to, instead take the lessons and inspirations they raise in you and like ingredient in a recipe, apply them in ways you are good at, making them your own creation. This realization is an eye opening reflection on patience, vision, and in knowing self-worth, specifically as an individual within a heritage. I am so grateful to finally start to see how my own gifts and skills can potentially help others in the way I’ve always hoped for.

So yeah, maybe I am not cut out to be a nurse, but I am cut out to work with people; to understand, comfort, and help them. As it turns out I am also cut out to work with the aging and disabled; since I found myself working with them, I have felt the pieces start to fall into place. I find that I am not only enjoying it and comfortable with it, but I am also very good at it. This is exciting for me as I now start to explore how I can grow within this work. I believe I am blessed to have inherited extremely valuable characteristics from my mom, and because of her influence over my life and the time it took to grow into myself, I have finally discovered a clear vision for my future. It is a purpose specific to me and who I am, but that honors the person who built me up to see and know the elderly and disabled in a beautiful way. It is so comforting to know that although I’m unique, I can fill my mother’s shoes.

The Voice Within The Wind

I love these stories, and this one is my favorite yet. They make me think of campfire tales; I want to wrap up in a blanket and roast marshmallows.

The Phantom Rem

It’s dusk. I appear to be in a desert, with one or two trees in the horizon. But it’s windy, I have fabric covering my entire face and body, just my eyes are exposed. I can see a dark shadowy figure in the distance, out by the trees, but when I try to focus on the figure it seems to disappear. It’s very windy and it’s getting darker and darker, instinct tells me I shouldn’t be out here when it becomes fully night.

I try to walk towards the trees but I’m struggling to even stay upright in this wind. I think I can hear something in the wind but I can’t make it out. With each step the distant figure seems closer, it’s not moving but still appears to fade in and out of my sight. I’m finally making progress forward, yet the trees seem to be getting farther…

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Why knowing what we value matters.

I love this, such insight!

The Written Reverie

In a previous post I talked about How to set S.M.A.R.T. Goals for success. This detailed how we could set goals in order to achieve our desired outcome. Well, what if we aren’t sure what it is we want? Or we know what we want, but not exactly. How do we set and achieve goals for things that we only have a vague idea of?

In a world filled with possibility, options, and plenty of things to choose from how do we decide? For people like me, who want to do, try, and be everything, it doesn’t come so easy.
So the first thing we do is ask ourselves ‘what do I value?’ Is it family? Nature? Fame? Love? Fortune? Etc.

During a lesson in one of my college classes, we played a values game. We had a list of values you could choose from such as family, fame, fortune, love…

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WP Saturday Spotlight- Abbie Lu!

It was such an honor to be doted on by Endeavor publishing, thank you J! #iloveblogging

Endever Publishing Studios

Abbie loves two things- books and coffee. What more do you really need to know?

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The first thing that caught my eye on Abbie’s blog “Cafe Book Bean” was the purely genius coffee (or tea) suggestions she makes to accompany the reading of whatever book she happens to be recommending that day. I was instantly hooked. I agree with Abbie about reading and warm beverages- “They are the bread and butter to my soul.” Just check out this example-

On the topic of Shorts, here is a mini drink that really packs a punch:

Book Bean: Café Bombón


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A Cuban drink with roots to Valencia, Spain. 
Espresso served with sweetened condensed milk in a 1:1 ratio. Bombón means chocolate in Spanish. Sprinkle with cinnamon, nutmeg, or even cayenne for extra pop of flavor.

Even when Abbie’s blog is going through a slow season, (life just gets busy, we all know how that…

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Language Pride…

I BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE A PROMINENT NATIONAL LANGUAGE AND STILL EMBRACE AND ENCOURAGE OTHER LANGUAGES. WE ARE A DIVERSE NATION AND WE SHOULD RESPECT OTHER PERSONS AND ENCOURAGE THERE CULTURE, NOT SUPPRESS IT.

LOVE IS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE.

If we cannot communicate with words, we should think outside the box instead of getting upset and discouraged by other people’s differences and/or learning curve. I spent 2 months in a country where I could not communicate for a while verbally, but it was a rich and rewarding experience and helped me grow as a person. In my travels no one ever demanded that I speak their language (French or Spanish) but they would encourage me if I did want to learn, and they would also ask me to teach them bits of my language. This was a great way to bond; experiencing one another’s culture intimately, is tremendously unifying, and it was priceless.

Yes it is beneficial and helpful to have a prominent or universal language for communication and commerce, but do we have to have this at the expense of diversity and multi/bilingualism?

I will admit I myself have gotten frustrated with situations that are relative, but I catch myself and remind myself that I am not the center of the universe, other people’s struggles matter too. Obstacles are opportunities to maneuver and overcome, they should not be knocked down and pushed out of the way to save pride. I think maybe people are afraid of loosing some sort of “National” identity, but really diversity is what makes US beautiful and special.

I wish more people would see this and embrace it, instead of acting out of fear, which just causes unnecessary disunity.
But hey, that’s just my opinion. Peace.
~AbbieLu

Holocaust Remembrance Day

Cafe Book Bean

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January 27—the anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau

On this annual day of commemoration here are a few associated books:

These are two wonderful gifts I received last Christmas.books

“The Holocaust Museum In Washington” This book was written by Jeshajahu Weinberg, the founding director of the museum. There are hundreds of color and black-and-white photographs throughout the book–photos of kitchen utensils, hair, shoes, forged documents, artificial limbs, and luggage and prayer shawls confiscated from the victims. Haunting and terrifying are photos showing charred corpses of concentration camp inmates, a starved prisoner in Buchenwald, a young Jewish partisan woman being hanged in Minsk in 1941, Danish Jews escaping to Sweden on a small boat, and Hungarian Jews arriving in Auschwitz in 1944. The book provides a well-rounded history of  the Holocaust, but I would still really love to visit this museum in person!

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“Once We Were Brothers”
a fictional novel by Ronald…

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My Birthday Tribute: Poe

Cafe Book Bean

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.”
~Edgar Allan Poe

EDGAR ALLAN POE
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Today is my birthday, and I am honored to share it with Edgar Allan Poe, born January 19th 1809. Poe was a brilliant writer, and I love his work. I admire the deep sentiment within his work, which draws you in. His style is not for everyone, it’s sometime long and daunting, but there is beauty laced within the lines that you must keep reading to find.

     Quotes by Poe:

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I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

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Hauntingly. Mysterious. Beautiful.all-that-we-see-or-seem-is-but-a-dream-within-a-dream-edgar-allen-poeWhat are your thoughts on Poe?

You can’t spell Poet without Poe 😉

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